Are you a Stressed Out Mom?
Who here has felt overwhelmed by motherhood? Me! I’ll be the first to admit that I have days where I do not have it all together. You may be asking yourself, “How can I possibility be present and available for my kids, while also growing in my career without losing my mind?”
This may seem like an impossibly unrealistic task, and it can quickly lead to short tempers, anxiety, fear and a sense of failure. Sound familiar? You are looking for ways to alleviate the stress and be the best version of a mother and a woman.
Tips for Managing Stress
1. Identify your Feelings
The first thing you need to recognize is how you are feeling. Yes, yes, that’s what you hear all the time. But truly, take a moment and pause. Ask yourself, “what am I feeling right now?” Perhaps you just screamed at your children. You check in with yourself and realize that you feel frustrated. You feel overwhelmed. You feel angry. Validate and notice these feelings. No judgement. Just notice.
2. Regulate Your Breath
Now that you have noticed your feelings, you need to relax your body. Intense, unpleasant feelings can make our bodies feel tension and stress. One of the best tools you can do to relax your body is to take deep, belly breaths. This means that you do not breathe with your shoulders moving up and down, but with your belly moving in and out. Imagine the most peaceful place you can come up with (i.e. a beach, taking a walk on your favorite path, etc). As you imagine this, take those deep belly breaths. Do this until you notice the tension leaving your body.
3. Make Goals
Your body should feel less stressed than when you started this exercise; if it doesn’t, keep working on breathing! Now is the time you can organize your thoughts. Take a piece of paper and jot down your ambitions. This may include both how you strive to be as a mother or how you desire to advance in your career (maybe both!). This may look like developing personal traits (i.e. not resorting to yelling as often or not letting stress come to fruition to anxiety) or it could be more practical goals (i.e. spend 15 minutes solely focused on playing with your children a day or writing down your work assignments that need to be accomplished by the end of the day).
If these tips can help you manage your stress for the time being then yay! But sometimes, the stress is more deeply rooted in past events or negative self talk. It’s ok to admit that you need the support of someone else (aka a therapist). When choosing a therapist, you should never feel judgment or shame for coming to get support. You should feel welcome in whatever feelings you bring to the table. A therapist can help you discover past wounds that need healing and assist you in growing into the person you desire to be as a mother and as a woman.
Disclaimer: This is in no way a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. Reading this blog or responding to it does not constitute a provider-patient relationship. If you are looking for a local mental health professional feel free to use the contact tab to request an appointment or search Psychology Today for local therapists in your area. If this is a mental health emergency and you need immediate assistance please call 911 or your county’s crisis line to speak to a mental health professional.
